They just keep getting younger…

This is me…well actually it’s quite a heavily edited version of me. The real me looks as if she hasn’t slept in weeks and has two huge spots on her chin (thank you again hormones). I am 34…35 next month. To quote ‘Sex and the City’ 35 is my scary age. For whatever reason the idea of turning 35 makes me feel like an ancient crone. I don’t look ancient (well in certain lights I don’t) and I don’t feel ancient yet 35 looms like a dark cloud over my horizon.

I blame the fear-mongering about the decline in fertility once a woman hits the big 3-5! I have a two year old daughter but I would like at least one more. But not right now. For one thing the toddler would have a blue fit if a baby appeared in the house and I just couldn’t face that on top of the general toddler mayhem. For another I just don’t feel quite ready to be a mother of two. It would make me feel far too adult. I am still deluding myself that I am just a girl really. The word ‘woman’ makes me feel very old (and don’t even mention the word ‘lady’). So having two children would definitely push me over the edge.

What started me off on this somewhat depressing line of thought about age was that I caught sight of a child driving a truck today. Now lest anyone begin to really worry it wasn’t an actual child. It was a fresh-faced twenty-something year old. He just looked like a child to me. It gave me quite a shock to realise this young thing was perfectly capable (and legal) to drive this massive vehicle.

And is it just me or are police officers becoming younger by the day? I’m sure you should be at least 30 before you are considered eligible for patrol. It makes me giggle to think of one of these child-officers cautioning me or being involved in a high-speed chase. I want to tell them to go home to bed. They don’t even look old enough to drink! It’s the same with any profession really; nurses, teachers, lawyers. As for doctors? There is nothing worse than being examined by a young ‘un. You feel ancient as you watch their wrinkle-free mouths purse in thought and their boundless energy and enthusiasm makes me want to hide. Also I feel I can’t take their advice seriously – they don’t have the wisdom of age to back it up.

I remember when I was about 28 I was constantly mistaken for a 19 year old – it was particularly frustrating at the time as I worked as a nanny. The children’s grandmother kept dismissing me and my suggestions until she said something crass about my age and I snapped back that actually I was 28.

So you see I should have some sympathy really for the younger folk. They are quite often dismissed or ignored or belittled…but I don’t have any sympathy for them. Want to know why? Their bodies haven’t lost the battle with gravity, they can survive on very little sleep and they are still blissfully able to have more than two drinks without a doomsday headache the next morning.